Friday Check-In

Alright, so how do I do one of these? I guess however I feel like, huh? Don't worry, I'll get better at this one day...

This week was my second week of doing a Behavioral Activation time sheet. Week 1 is just putting down what you did everyday, and Week 2 is all about having a couple goals for yourself: having certain activities that will make you feel like you accomplished something, activities that you just really enjoy, and others that get you out of the house/socializing.

My goals this week have been journaling, writing, and taking my dog on long walks everyday. I had a trip to the grocery store and a trip to a great little coffee shop to get me out of the house, each instance planned for just one time at some point during the week. I also had a couple papers to write (big, final papers for my two summer courses at college). All of this seemed like it was going to take a lot out of me, but I started off excited, nonetheless.

The papers did NOT go well. I did, however, journal everyday (except yesterday, I'll get into that). Writing entails the revision, etc. of a novel I started in 2009. I'm on the third-ish draft right now, and haven't really been doing as much as I would like, this week included.

Blogging was a goal that I kinda made myself, since I just randomly decided to do in this new direction. I have to keep reminding myself that it won't be perfect, and (especially since I don't have an audience right now) doesn't have to be. This reminder should also help out my writing and schoolwork...perfection is something I really need to let go of.
Anyway, blogging--as you can see--went pretty well for this week.

Dog walking has been a little iffy, since it's been hotter than Hades's Ballsack. But what walks we have been on, she's loved--we have a lot more squirrels and such for her to want to murder.

I actually went out quite a bit. My husband has been rather supportive, and he tends to either drag me along for errands or send me out to get stuff. It also helped that I had to go to class (and I can't cook), so I was also motivated by hunger.

Socializing is a lot easier now, too, as I have two extra people living in my house.

So how has Behavioral Activation worked so far? ...Meh. But it's only been one week of adjustment. Like I said, I started off pretty excited (like usual) and really tried hard to get everything done. This excitement and hope gave me a lot of energy, but soon it wore off and I started to slack off on different things. After the paper fiasco, I really kinda just stopped caring again.

But that's where therapy comes in handy: talking through my issues with perfectionism helped me articulate my reasons behind why I put so much pressure on myself, which in turn helps the outside party (aka, Dr. S.) help me find a way to satisfy the needs that aren't being met.

SO
My goals for next week are the same, minus the papers, and adding on a) finding a job (that's not a part of the therapy, I just need monies), and b) finding a place to volunteer. Baby steps, guys, baby steps.

How's your week been? Any goals completed or new ones for the next week? I'd love to hear it, and even if you don't post them, I wish you luck on new ones, congratulate you on benchmarks reached, and know that ones on which you fell short, you will get eventually--just don't give up!

~ML

On Monday, I'll talk about my beautifully dumb string of terrible therapists as even more testament to not giving up, provide entertainment to those who don't need therapy, and hopefully make a nice connection with those who have had similar experiences.